Dear Society, Stop Glorifying Women’s Sacrifices

One thing I noticed throughout my life–and something that did not sat right with me, is how women are always expected to sacrifice. It is so normalized, that most of us don’t even recognize it, especially because it often shows up in smallest every day acts. How many times have we praised our mothers, wives who work 9 to 5 jobs, come back home and continue with house chores without rest? How often do we applaud house-wives who never take a moment for themselves, spending all the time looking after kids and managing house? These sacrifices are not only accepted, but also glorified. This glorification pressures women to live up to an unrealistic standard of selflessness. This is not appreciation, this is a polished form of oppression. 

From a young age, girls are taught how to walk, how to talk, how to act, and even how to eat etc. We are conditioned in a way that is acceptable by the society’s narrow standards of what it means to be a “good woman”. And the core of this teaching, is sacrifice and adjustment. Because there is an unspoken rule that, if a woman doesn’t give up, her time, energy and her life, for her parents, siblings, husband or children, she’s somehow not a good woman. The logic is clear: if a woman wants to be seen, and valued, she must learn to endure more, and her worth is measured by how much she can endure. What people fail to realise is just how heavy this expectation is. Women have been treated this way for centuries, actually much worse than today. And when questioned, the reasons society offers is the same: “traditions” and “culture”. However, there is no proper answer for why women are made to live up to extreme standards– standards that men are never held to. The truth is there is no answer, because there is no justification.

Many movies and Tv shows in India glorify this mistreatment women face, reinforcing harmful stereotypes.  A strong woman who prioritizes herself is villainized both in media and in reality. Women, who choose to focus on careers, business or even personal growth, often are made to feel guilty as if they are doing something wrong. Because every woman, since childhood, are told to be the bigger person, even when the situation seems unfair. So, when a woman decides to make her own choices, and puts her first, society makes her feel guilty for it. This is the reason many women, make decisions that please everyone around them, at the cost of their own well-being. The constant self- sacrifice takes a heavy toll, physically and mentally, leading to burnout, emotional fatigue and resentment. The lack of recognition and care from the people they love only adds to the drain, making them feel invisible and unworthy. 

But the narrative can be rewritten. Normalize women prioritizing themselves, without labelling them as selfish and arrogant or ungrateful. Stop measuring a woman’s worth on how much she sacrifices for others. Respect her choices, listen to her voice and stop trying to control her decisions. Value women for who they are, celebrate their creativity, their presence and their intellect, not for what they surrender.  And to all the incredible women reading this, choose yourself without guilt. You don’t have to exhaust yourself to be noticed and respected. Set boundaries when necessary–and dare to dream. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for not following society’s rulebook. Live your life loud and proud. You deserve to be loved for who you are and not how much you can give.