The Child is Father of the Man

Bringing up our two boys, I couldn’t help but perceive an altogether different interpretation to Wordsworth’s seminal paradoxical statement.  And, it has everything to do with our sons and not the poem per se. 

   

Our first son, Mark, was three when our second one was on the way. Now, Mark, right from infancy, fancied lying atop of me, my heartbeat and lullabies, probably lulling him to sleep. It was such a beautiful tranquil scene each time, for both of us – baby son snuggling asleep as I cuddled our adorable little Angel, singing softly. I am certain many a parent would have had so many such exquisite moments that make us nostalgic till our last breath. Babies, are, without a doubt, God’s ‘Earth Angels’. Toddlers, of course, are Angels mainly when they are asleep, their mischief and pranks all wrapped up for the day! You don’t have to agree, dear friend, but you do know I am not far from the truth, don’t you!

 

I treasure and cherish those serene moments, when our Mark, like a little koala cub clung to me as I sang him to sleep on the bed. The minute I told him of the baby growing in my tummy, little Mark was overjoyed. I also told him that his sleeping position may cause discomfort to the baby inside. So, from then on, his nightly ritual of falling asleep on me, both of us ensconced in our heartbeats, changed. And how? Our three-year old’s brain devised a method where he would position himself, but not on me, rather over me, his baby body propped up on his darling little hands and legs! That was the very first instance of my initiation into being taught an important life-lesson by our baby son – how to put the other before self!

 

Mark was always protective of his little brother, whom he had held in his arms when Mike was barely a few days old. Oh yes, they had their sibling squabbles, but no matter what, Mark was ever ready to jump in when Mike needed him. I distinctly remember a time when, Mike exasperated me so much that I was about to give him a whack, and, out of nowhere, Mark came between me and his brother saying, “Mummy beat me. Don’t beat my brother.” At that moment I might have been too mad to give Mark’s words any thought. But ever after that, Mark’s words that came from the depths of his heart, still ring in my ears (not that it stopped me from being the ‘monster mother’ straightaway). Yet another glimpse of a rare reminder of putting the other before self. 

 

While our first born, Mark was calm and quiet, Michael (Mike), our second son, was on the opposite end of the spectrum. The veritable live-wire! Mike was called ‘Bubbles’ by teachers because of his effervescent nature. He was not the kind to go by the rule of the book. So, when in his 12th std. most of his friends went for tuitions regularly, our son, Mike (who had joined tuitions too) rarely went, even if the teacher lived a stone’s throw away from our house! There was this renowned chemistry teacher in Madurai, Mr. Joseph, known equally for his exceptional teaching and for being strict. But, thank God, even though Mike made rare appearances to this class, Mr. Joseph took a liking for the brat.

 

A few days before the chemistry exam, Mike who hadn’t showed up for his tuition for weeks on end, suddenly felt the dire need to go and seek Mr. Joseph’s advice on how and what to concentrate on. I was sure he would receive a well-deserved dressing-down. May be Mike thought so too because he went about calling up his friends asking them to accompany him, but they were busy studying. Hardly was he off the phone (then only landline) than he was ready to go it alone. Half of me wanted him to face the music, so I said “fine Mike, go.” When he returned, do you know what the first thing was that Mike did? You may not have guessed it, but he sat down at the phone calling up each friend and happily giving them all the tips and advice that Sir had given him! I was aghast. I was about to tell him to stop being the good Samaritan, when, God, through the Holy Spirit, simply shut my mouth. That still small voice told me that I would have, by admonishing my son, actually taught him to be selfish. He was being selfless. 

 

Another incident that was an eye-opener to me, was, when one of Mike’s school friends who was with him just a couple of days ago, had gone on a short vacation. Mike didn’t know about it, and when I told him that that was not how a friend should be (having kept his trip a secret), my son’s response astounded me! Mike very calmy said, “Ma, should it matter if he forgot to tell me of his holiday plans?” That sure stunned me into silence and taught me another valuable lesson – to live and let live. 

 

Both brothers, even when they were small fellows, would readily pitch in with the house work whenever I felt a little under the weather. Be it washing clothes, sweeping, mopping or washing vessels, our sons, then, and now, never feel anything is too much or too low for them to do in their own homes. I am more than certain that every parent out there has innumerable anecdotes of their time of learning from their dear children. Strange but true: the Child is Father of the man/woman, in this context too!