I Didn’t Erase My Anxiety — I Changed My Relationship with It

Emotions are among the most important — complex subjects — humans have been trying to understand for centuries. It is one of my favorite topics to explore deeply as well. For a long time, anxiety wasn’t just something I experienced, it was something I became. Anxiety is a part of being human. Almost everyone experiences it, yet very few truly understand what it’s like to live with it day after day.

For me, anxiety became something I felt I had to understand, in order to stop it from holding me back. After being diagnosed four years ago, anxiety slowly became a part of how I saw myself. This was before I moved to the UK for my master’s degree — a time filled with preparations, exams, unfamiliar faces, and constant transitions. Much of it, especially after moving to a new country, I have to navigate on my own. Anxiety was present in every part of the journey. No matter where I went, I checked everything repeatedly. If I was meeting a lecturer for a one-on-one session, I would reread my notes again and again. Before stepping out of my room, I double-checked my outfit, my bag, and whether I had everything I might need. But it wasn’t just preparations; it was my mind racing ahead. I ran through countless scenarios, most of them rooted in what could go wrong. What if I tripped during a presentation? What if I messed up an assignment? These thoughts arrived before everything I did, making even simple tasks feel overwhelming. I rehearsed conversations that hadn’t happened, predicted outcomes I can’t control, and prepared for situations that may never exist. Over time, this constant overthinking didn’t just stay confined to my mind — it began to shape my daily life. Slowly, it shifted from something I experienced to something I identified with.

Anxiety doesn’t just live in mind; it settles into the body too — tight shoulders, restlessness, fatigue, a constant sense of being on edge. For a long time, I reinforced its presence by naming it everywhere: to others and myself. It slowly became a part of how I described who I was. That’s when I realized how much power I had given it. So instead of constantly saying “I have anxiety” all the time, I began treating it as what it really is — an anxious feeling that comes and goes. I didn’t try to eliminate it completely, as it felt unrealistic and unfair to myself. Instead, I worked on creating space for it. I allowed it to exist without letting it take control. Anxiety no longer drove my every decision. I think of it like a passenger on the bus. I made space for every emotion including anxiety, but I stayed at the wheel — choosing how much attention it deserves. I also began to understand feeling anxious isn’t always a sign that something is wrong. Often, it’s a sign that something matters. We feel anxious because we care about the outcome, because the goal holds meaning for us. When I realized this, I stopped treating anxiety as an enemy and started treating it as information. When I feel socially anxious, I move toward it instead of away from it. If I am scared of giving a presentation or posting online, I do it scared. It shows my potential, pushes me to prepare, and preparation brings confidence. I didn’t let that energy spiral into fear or self-doubt — I channeled it with awareness and choice.

Anxiety doesn’t need to be fought or erased to lose its power. When we stop turning it into an identity and start treating it as a passing feeling, our relationship with it changes. It can exist without controlling us. It doesn’t have to define who we are or how far we go. Over time, with help and support, I realized peace isn’t absence of anxious thoughts — it’s the confidence that I can hold them without losing myself.