Best of Both Worlds

Antony Joseph must have been one of the earliest of Malayalees from an illustrious Namboothiri family (who embraced Catholicism) to leave the comfort zone of his hometown, a picturesque little village in Alapuzha, enveloped by gentle swaying coconut fronds, a host of other magnificent trees, and embraced by the backwaters of the majestic, meandering river Pamba, his acres of paddy fields in Kuttanad, the rice bowl of Kerala.

His job on the railways brought Antony, then a young man of 22, to a quaint town in the south-central part of the country. Bitragunta, known as the Home of the Steel Horses, with its mighty loco shed that housed and honed the then throbbing, thrilling lord of the rails, the steam engines, was the bustling, buoyant hub of the Anglo-Indian community.

A fervent and devout Catholic, Antony never compromised on his time with his God. Disciplined by nature and upright in spirit, Antony conducted himself with dignity and grace borne out of reverence for God. Climbing the steps of Church one day, Antony’s Prayer Book fell from his hand scattering the Holy pictures that were in it. Little Bernadette and her friends scrambled down to help pick them up. Thanking the young children profusely, Antony presented Bernadette with one of those pictures, an added sign of his profound thank-you to them. 

That little girl was Bernie (short for Bernadette), who, four years later, became Antony’s darling wife for 52 amazing years, till he passed on! The road towards their union was as rocky as one can imagine. Having lost her dear mother when she was all of fourteen, her dear father was furious at first when Antony approached him seeking the hand of his princess in marriage! Antony’s gentlemanly behaviour and his perceptive powers of persuasion helped thaw Bigda’s (Bernie’s father and our grandfather) reservations. He finally relented and agreed to the marriage of his gorgeous baby girl with Antony.

It was far from smooth sailing for Antony too, whose family back home in Kerala, was nothing short of aghast not only that their handsome (inside and out) son had the audacity to make his choice, but also that she wasn’t Malayalee! Antony and Bernie’s marriage is crystal clear evidence that what God has put together, no one or nothing can put asunder. And so it was, that on the 9th of September1957, Antony Joseph and Bernadette Doyle became husband and wife: Bernie was 16 and her darling Antony, 26!

“Ours is the greatest love story ever told”, Daddy dearest would tell us, their Super seven children! That we are five girls and two boys never perturbed either Mummy or Daddy. We were all treated equally, with not even a hint of gender disparity. Love, respect, understanding, trust and faith in God and in each other was the invisible yet invincible foundation of their marriage. “To give and not to count the cost, to labour and not seek reward” were two of the many values   Dad and Mum’s lives embodied. Of course, they had their differences, but they never let the sun go down before they laid their disagreements to rest.

Their physical, mental and spiritual strength must have been put to the test many a time on the stormy sea of life. Nevertheless, Antony and Bernie successfully navigated every sharp twist and turn in the ebb and flow of life with their God-given wisdom and love. Looking back on the beautiful life they created and crafted together, we, their little darlings now parents and grandparents ourselves, cannot help but feel blessed beyond measure – being as we are, offspring of the Best of Both Worlds.