Society’s Obsession With Women And Marriage

At certain point in life, a woman is constantly asked, ‘When are you getting married?’. While it may seem like a simple question, it carries immense pressure for the woman who hears it over and over again. Let’s talk about why society finds it so hard to accept a single woman living life on her terms. 

No matter, how accomplished a woman is–no matter how many degrees she holds, how creative, independent or successful she may be–her value, and worth is often measured by one thing: marriage. After a certain age, women are constantly bugged about marriage, to an extent many feel guilty for not having started a family. This pressure comes from her family, and relatives, because some how they believe they are entitled to have an opinion on how woman should live her life. But the truth is–no one gets to dictate how a woman should live her life. The things said to pressure her into marriage are always the same.  Your Parents are getting older, your biological clock is ticking, you’ll end up alone. It’s a mix of emotional manipulation and fear mongering. Especially, in India, it is considered normal for nosy relatives and neighbours to interfere and pass judgements. A woman putting herself first, choosing dreams, goals and peace is still a foreign concept to many. And when a woman dares to focus on her career, the response is always, you can do that after marriage. They completely disregard her happiness and only focus on how she performs in the world. It’s less about joy and more about her role in fulfilling what the society demands. But here’s the point they miss: the decision whether or not to marry is entirely hers to make. Not her family’s not anyone else’s. 

 The society always wants to know “what’s next”. They expect women to have everything planned–marriage, childbirth, family, and even the future of her children’s education. This mindset exists because the society follows a chart of what a successful life looks like, and then uses that chart to measure everyone else’s. They believe a woman should get married simply because that’s what majority of the people do. But the truth is, success looks different for everyone–women included. The immense pressure, guilt tripping and questioning leads to anxiety stress, and overthinking. Many women end up compromising their values and standards just to meet other’s expectations. However, a decision made on pressure–one that’s not aligned to who you are, can lead to deep regrets later. 

Defining woman as a failure, disappointment, or pitying her merely for choosing a different path in life should stop. Women don’t owe anyone any explanation for how they live their life–no matter how ‘imperfect” it may seem in the society’s eyes. A woman should be allowed to choose the life she wants. Whether it is marrying late, marrying soon, or not marrying at all–that’s her decision to make. To be scrutinized and shamed for making a choice must end. Let women be who they want to be. Let them make their own choices. Let them find purpose. Let them be happy. And to all the lovely women out there, it’s okay not have everything figured out right now, you’re not behind, you’re not wrong for making decisions that align with yourself. The way you choose to navigate life is the right way–so do it your way. 

You’d love to watch Dr Agalya’s video on this.