Turn Nervous Energy into Rocket Fuel

 All through my life, if there is one thing that is a constant certainty, it is the incredible presence of God in it! I know what you’re thinking – oh, yes, I do; but it is actually quite the contrary. He isn’t there in my life because I’m a good girl … Oops, sorry, good, old cat; but because God is Good and ever willing to set up home even in someone like me! As a matter of fact, God lives in every one of us. Many a time, my thoughts, words and deeds fail to reflect God’s presence in my life, but His love for me/us never wavers. Today I would like to focus on one area of my life when I have always felt God’s gentle, generous and gracious goodwill gesture.

   I was (and still am) someone whose nerves ran amuck at the slightest whiff of anything even remotely related to the unknown. I was most at peace when everything was on even keel. Stupid, right? And right you are! For, who ever knew life to be any different from a roller coaster of adventure and challenges, big and small! Bold was I, but a bundle of nerves as well. Talking nineteen to the dozen was my forte, but put me up on stage, and I’m as good as a flat frozen freezer tray! Never stopped me from going on stage though; that’s where the bold me came in. Happened when I was in the fourth standard. Our school was conducting a fancy-dress competition (open to parents and public) in lieu of annual day. My dear mother dressed me up like the legendary movie character, Rowdy Rani, who tactfully avenged the murder of her family. Now that role called for a fearless warrior woman dressed to the hilt, toy gun included (please note this was a good half a century ago). And all I was expected to do was yell out who I was, wielding my toy gun and then point skyward.

It was a breeze practicing at home, mummy giving me a few tips to crystalize the role in me.  I sure looked and played the part to perfection! Knowing the bold and bubbly girl I am, my dear mother had not even an iota of doubt that this daughter of hers would pull off the role really well. Waiting in the wings, I heard my name being called, and Bold Betty walked on stage and got the stage fright of her life! Looking out at the sea of faces in the audience did something to me that had never happened before: paralyzed me from head to toe! Even my voice seemed to have taken a vacation! Nothing, not even mother’s frantic gesticulations could snap me out of my trance. It was as if my feet grew roots on spot, for I had to be literally lifted off the stage. For all of you cool and confident creatures, those of my ilk would come across as comic relief. But only we know, our plight is far from funny! Thank God, that was the only time, as far back as I recall, that I got tongue-tied and frozen-feet on stage, for otherwise I was quite a performer on stage and on the sports field, and always enjoyed doing whatever I had to do. It was only much later in life that I actually began to see how the hand of God helped me, especially in this area of my life. I guess, because God created me, He knew the nervous nut case I was, and stayed close at hand to help!

Have you ever noticed that there is a strange moment that happens just before something big – when you have butterflies in your stomach, palms turn icy or sweaty, and you can hear your heart beat in your mouth! It’s the moment before you step on stage, speak at a meeting, submit your work for feedback, or begin something new or unknown. That sensation – the rush of nerves – used to be my enemy too. But over time, I ‘ve come to realize something else: that that nervous energy isn’t weakness. It is Potential. Raw, electric, and yes, waiting to be transformed! It is not a wall … it is Fuel!

Just before a race or getting up to speak before an audience, why, even to read in Church, my heartbeat would quite easily be 200/minute and my palms would be icy cold. But the three simple words that the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart years ago through another, “Do it afraid”, got me thinking that if God wanted me /us to do something, then, with His help and guidance, we can do it, and do it well. And that’s what I shared with my darling students to encourage them to come up and speak when they have/need to. Another common sentiment I chanced upon, “If you don’t get nervous before speaking, you don’t care enough” spoke volumes to me about how my preparation should be, that I should give whatever I am called to do, my 100%. That nerves are just our body preparing for something important, made me take a different approach to my nervy state before I go up to do my thing.

   

I firmly believe that the Holy Spirit speaks to us in ways far removed from what we are typically accustomed to. Like, for example, He did for this week’s nugget too – through the movie, “War Room” that I watched the other day. Gave me my title alright, through one of the dialogues. Whenever some speaking/written assignment, or other tasks/responsibilities come my way, I simply tell God, in my dear Mem’s words “Well, you got me into this; now you’ve got to help me through it!” And He always does. But of course, that does not imply that I neglect to put in every ounce of effort. Thorough preparation is definitely my part. How I perform is the result of Providence meeting preparation!

Looking back at my years as a young teacher in a college, I can still recall my boundless nervous energy. What I didn’t know then was that this nervous energy is closely related to excitement – the sensations are similar: the adrenaline rush, rapid heartbeat and heightened awareness! And that the difference lies only in how we interpret those feelings. The key isn’t to silence nervous energy but to redirect it to, “I am not scared; I am ready.” That’s when we allow our nervy sensations actually become our ally. It would make me sharper, more alert and more alive in what I am doing. This lesson echoes beyond speeches and the boundaries of everything encompassing life. Every now and again when nervous energy shows up, I welcome the feeling, using it to notch up my preparation and presentation.

Nervous energy, dear friend, can be pretty daunting, overwhelming! Got me thinking, “what if this is the same energy that astronauts experience before lift-off?” It is not just anxiety; it is Momentum. Pressure building before Propulsion. That’s when I began to view my nerves as rocket fuel – volatile, yes, but capable of incredible lift-off if harnessed correctly. This shift in mindset is what we need. Oh yes, nervous energy never disappears, it returns, resurfaces and is as reliable as gravity! But I no longer dread it. I accept it and use it as a prompt to prepare really well, and to connect with my purpose. Turning nervous energy into rocket fuel also means embracing vulnerability. There’s power in admitting that we care deeply enough to make us nervous. That authenticity resonates whether it is in creative work, leadership, or relationships. People respond to passion – even when it shakes/trembles at the podium/stadium. Come along dear friend, let’s learn to turn nervous energy into our power source! “You have to have fear in order to have courage”- Ronda Rousey.