I always find it unsettling when people feel entitled to comment on what I wear. It doesn’t happen to me often now as it used to — maybe because I’m older, maybe because I no longer hesitate to respond or maybe because more women are growing into their confidence. I’d like to believe society has evolved too, though I’m not entirely convinced. Still, I can’t ignore how deeply these comments are rooted in misogyny.

When I was a teenager in school, there were rules to follow — and I understand that institutions need structure. Uniforms should be neat, ironed and clean. That much made sense. But it didn’t stop there, it went beyond discipline and slipped into something far more condescending. Because god forbid a girl simply wanted to look presentable — that was quickly labelled as “attention-seeking”. What hurt me the most was this came from a place that was supposed to nurture individuality. A school is meant to shape young minds, to encourage confidence and self-expression. Instead, it often felt like a strict camp run by authorities policing girlhood. We were taught to adjust, to shrink, to live up to impossible standards. Meanwhile, boys were rarely scrutinized with the same intensity.

The way we dress plays a role in how we carry ourselves. Clothes can make us feel bold, alive and authentic. We don’t dress only to blend in — sometimes we dress to stand out. And standing out is not a crime. Taking up space is not a flaw. The way someone dresses contributes to how they feel in their own skin. Confidence can be built through small acts of self-expression — choosing how to wear your hair, taking pride in your appearance, standing comfortably in your identity — that should be encouraged, not shamed. The reason I stress this, is because the casual misogyny surrounding women’s clothing is often dismissed as harmless commentary — when in reality it is deeply damaging. Judging a woman based on what she wears is unfair, inaccurate and frankly reductive. What’s even more disheartening is when women participate in tearing other women down for their choices. Somewhere along the way, many of us were taught that modesty equals respect — and that any deviation from that narrow definition makes a girl less respectable. That belief gets quietly engraved into young minds. Films, television serials and social media often reinforce the same narrative: the “good” woman dresses a certain way. And so blame continues to circle back to women even when they are not the problem. Yes, things have changed but there’s still a long way to go. I’ve had friends who weren’t allowed to dress the way they wanted. There are still women who negotiate their outfits around family approval, partner preferences or societal reactions. She is forced to dress for acceptance more than self-expression, something is quietly taken away from her. Every time a woman stands before her wardrobe, the decision should be simple: what do I feel good in? Not what will reduce criticism. Not what will keep the peace. Not what will make me more palatable. Dress codes rarely end with school or college, they simply change form. That’s why the conversation really matters. Because a woman’s right to choose what she wears is not trivial. It is tied to autonomy, identity and dignity.

There are also deep insecurities that grow when a girl is constantly made fun of for what she wears. Whether it is dressing for work, for festivals, celebrations, or even casual outings, women are trapped in a never-ending paradox: too dressed up, too plain. Too bold, too dull. Somehow they’re always over-doing it or not doing enough. Rarely are they simply right. Having heard the misogynistic undertones for years — some directed at me, some directed at others, I’ve developed a sharp ear for them. Once you recognize the pattern, you can’t unhear it, and once you notice it, you begin to call it out — not out of rebellion, but out of clarity. So, I want to end with this: women are allowed to dress however they want.  The way you dress doesn’t define your character — it reflects your expression. It reflects the intelligent, artistic, soulful, colorful person you are. Every shade you choose to wear carries a part of you — wear it with confidence. It gives the world a chance to witness yourself fully. And, that in itself is powerful.