Bottled up thoughts are the worst kind. Because when they finally get a way out, they burst through like water breaking a dam. This is exactly how I feel, when I think about my school days, especially those three years — where everyone who can’t even pronounce your name properly, is deeply invested in how many marks you score or what you want to do. The last three years of school. I’d like to call it the “don’t get on my nerves” phase. Well of course, it wasn’t what I called it while I was in school. It was after I graduated. After I developed a frontal lobe.

Yes, you guessed right. I am bitter about school. I mean, wouldn’t you be too if you had to wear a uniform every day with a questionable color combination? When you constantly had to beware of the condescending comments you’d receive when you mess up, even a little bit? What was the word they loved so much? Oh yeah — perfect. You must be extremely perfect, even if you had to have a one-on-one fight with the wind so that your perfect white shoes don’t get dirtied while you’re marching on the same spot for God knows how long. And if you’re a girl don’t even think about looking presentable. Because after countless women who fought for the rights, we have today, still how a girl or woman presents herself is somehow directly proportional to how smart she is. Coughs*internalized misogyny *coughs.

“I think you’re over exaggerating” you might say, “I think most of the schools are like that.” And that’s exactly my point. Almost all of them are like that, which is why you’re stuck here reading my articles, where I rant about how wrong the system is. If our school actually “educated” us about everything and not just measured our worth on how much we score in math, chemistry and physics (yeah, I hate them), things would have been far better. “What will you yap about in your articles then?” Trust me, I’m a writer I always find something to yap about. So many things that I’ve learned in school weren’t good. They were unpleasant memories. I don’t think a teacher or a principal can predict the future of any student. You think my principal predicted me to take shots at the school years after graduating? No. So, comparing the potential of a student and drawing imaginary conclusions on how they’d end up in the future would only strip away their confidence from them. That’s the last thing an education system should be doing.

Especially the three “crucial” years where you always must have your head inside your book, no cable, no entertainment, no life, while constantly being compared to every other child your age. Apparently the guide to “How to Succeed 101” is by infiltrating your mind with doubts, destroying your interest in learning by constant pressure, and basing your respect on how well you score (Credits to author and co-author: teachers and parents, special mention: nosy neighbors).

Many grow up lacking self-confidence, self-worth, creativity, and stop learning once they finish school or college. Because the environment they studied in did not help them thrive but made them loathe learning. And if you still think, I’m just complaining or hating, I promise you whatever I’ve said so far were all a part of my experience, I didn’t make up any of this. When you grow up to be a psychologist and do all the deep work to find out what really has caused you to feel and think the way you do, you definitely can’t ignore this part. Because I enjoy reading, writing and learning new things. I always did. We all have. We are curious beings by birth. So, if you want to know why your creativity has been stunted, and your self-confidence has been destroyed, you’ll find the answer when you look back.

And as a woman, it’s very hard not to criticize the education system. We still live in a world where sexism and violence against women remains deeply rooted. When the very system that should educate children about misogyny, and sexist behavior becomes the one that fosters them instead, people won’t change and society won’t progress. The “rules” in certain educational institutions that are punitive and demeaning don’t create better students — they create fear, chronic stress and lasting anxiety for many. No student should be afraid to learn, and every student deserves to be treated with respect. It is as simple as that.