Actions Speak Louder Than Words

 

Mrs.Abraham, or, Mrs.A as some of us friends referred to her, was a woman of many parts. She was a genius at administrative affairs and wore many hats. Mrs.A was the then Dean of Academic Affairs, Head of the Dept of History, and served as the Vice Principal of Lady Doak College as well. Known as a leader, strong and principled with a no-nonsense approach to people and matters, Mrs. Abraham was conscientious, upright and reliable. She gladly accepted and successfully executed every responsibility she undertook. That she was as affectionate as she was strict, I came to know as I got to know Mrs.A better. Oh yes, initially, I was pretty scared of her as I was of a few other senior staff. But soon I learnt that these were wonderful women who went out of their way to warmly welcome us young ones and make us feel at home, and find our bearings in our new surroundings.

 

Everyone was treated alike by her when it came to giving our best at work. Mrs.Abraham made it crystal clear through her life that accountability at one’s workplace, as in the home, is of prime importance. I recall a time when a few of us committed an act of omission or commission (not quite sure which) and had to meet Mrs.A. Never have I ever felt such fear until that moment! All a-tremor, I remember dragging my feet along with my dear friends in crime – Rachel and Rose – to Mrs. Abraham’s office. The three of us, known for our jovial and joyful spirit, were anything but that, that day! In a short while we were ushered into Mrs.A’s simple yet sophisticated room (a reflection of the lady herself), our hearts in our mouths, anxiously awaiting a harsh reprimand for our negligence. She gave us a patient ear, and then gave us a piece of her mind, but in such a respectful yet firm way that we left her office wiser and better equipped to steer clear from work-front pitfalls due to ignorance or innocence. What we thought was going to be the end of the world for us was actually the beginning of learning how to redress the deed without deflating the person. It is something like this: “I love you, but I do not like what you did/are doing.” Mrs.Abraham taught us, that day, what it means to treat everyone with dignity even when admonishing them.

 

Never one to waver from her journey for justice and an honest effort, Mrs. Abraham always upheld her principles. Her wonderful way with words, almost always, acted as a shepherd’s staff to steer a faculty discussion or deliberation in the right direction of decision making. Not one given to sugar coating anything, Mrs.A simply says it like it is, and more often than not, we all see sense in her suggestions. She never forced her ideas or propositions on anyone. It was up to us to follow through or just leave it. Either way, it never affected anyone’s relationship with Mrs.Abraham, because people mattered to her.

 

Always one of the earliest to wish us on our birthdays, Mrs.Abraham made sure to make us feel special and loved with her hand written cards and letters. I am certain, like me, all her friends eagerly looked forward to her Christmas and New Year notes and greetings which never failed to show up in our ‘pigeon hole’ (for those who are new to this phrase, these are tiny partitions in a shelf meant to store each one’s post). But woe betide you forget to acknowledge Mrs.A’s greeting… well, yes, I have to confess, I am prone to be caught on the wrong foot you see… and so it happened one birthday, sailing on cloud nine (my go to niche) at having received wishes and greetings galore, it clean slipped my mind to meet and thank  Mrs.Abraham for her beautiful, thoughtful and loving wishes. The very next day when I peeped into the pigeon hole, I found envelope with Mrs.A’s handwriting addressed to me. Ecstatic that I was cradling yet another of her letters filled with love and blessings, I lost no time in opening the envelope, and then… time stood still! This note was nothing short of a tongue lashing neatly written, folded and laid inside a pastel blue envelope! I was engulfed in sorrow and shame at having failed to thank this dear friend of mine, in time. Still clutching the beautiful, blue bombshell, I ran out of the faculty lounge only to run right into Mrs.Abraham who wondered why I looked so flustered. Before I could embark on my apology, she looked at the envelope in my hands and said, “oh, its ok. I was wondering why you did not respond to my birthday greeting.” And with that, the episode was instantly put behind her. She walked with me to the dining room, talking of other things, including my family. Never was that lapse on my part ever brought up again. But it taught me a lasting life lesson: that by thanking people in time shows them that you value them, their time and effort.  

 

Beulah’s, Rachel’s, Sarah’s and my children loved Mrs.Abraham. My boys, Mark and Michael, called her ‘Hammy-Hammy Aunty’ which tickled her to no end. She enjoyed visiting our homes and spending time with our families, making birthdays especially special for us and our children. Beulah and her family, who were closest to Mrs.Abraham, took such good care of her in the final stage of her life. Whenever we friends meet up or chat, Mrs.A automatically come into our conversations. That Mrs.Abraham was such a profound inspiration not only to us, but to as many whose lives she touched, is to say the least. Mrs.Abraham is an Experience!